Meet Allen (pictured above )
When I first me Allen he was one of the angriest people I ever met. Not that it is anyone’s responsibility to please another (people pleasing is an idol), he was nearly impossible to pleased. He was always upset about something, and he said if you really ticked him off, he would introduce you to his closest friend, Hank. “Hank” is the name of his baseball bat, which I only learned a few weeks ago…

Shall we play a game?
If I were to do a word association game and I said, “New Year’s,” I think many would immediately reply, “Resolution.” For many people, the start of a new year is viewed as a clean slate, and what seemed unattainable only a few weeks ago, now seems possible. As a former personal trainer, I spent a lot of time listening to New Year’s resolutions. In fact, all of my work was motivated by goals. I wish I could say that everyone I worked with achieved their goals, but unfortunately that was rare and even rarer to maintain them.

Failing to plan, is planning to fail. 
Come January each year, the hardest part of my job wasn’t finding clients or teaching exercise techniques, but getting people to realize that a goal and a plan are two different things. They’re related, but different. It is so important to realize that without an appropriate plan in place, a goal is nearly  impossible to achieve and not much more than a daydream. On the flip side, it always broke my heart to see people working hard and spinning their wheels with little to no results because their plans had no direction. There’s a Japanese proverb that states:

“Vision without action is a daydream and action without vision is a nightmare.”

It’s profoundly simple, but very true, and just like before with my personal training clients, I all to often see people (sometimes myself) not planning for their goals and/or spinning their wheels with little or no direction. This includes the folks I get serve on the streets.

When someone would tell me they wanted to “lose weight” or “get in shape,” I would explain if we amputated your arm or leg, you would see a considerable difference on the scale, your shape would change, and it would be permanent. Most of the time I would get a perplexed look, which I anticipated, and hopefully a chuckle. The point was to get a person thinking, and to not be so vague about their goal. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight or get in shape, but we’re back to it being a daydream again without more details.

SMART Goals
I learned to teach my clients before we could form an effective plan, we had to take their goals and make them SMART. There are variations for this acronym, but this is my preferred version:

Specific – You must clearly define your goal in order to achieve it. 

Measurable – You must be able to track your progress or you won’t know if you’re getting anywhere.

Action-Oriented – You must be involved and not a spectator. 

Realistic – You must know what resources you have and what you will need to acquire.

Time-bound – You must give yourself a time to be held accountable to or it’s unlikely you’ll achieve your goal.

Street talk
While I don’t usually explain goal setting with such detail on the streets, I usually ask a person what their strategy is when they tell me they want to get off the streets, get a job, or quit their addiction. Just like with weight loss, I’ll ask various questions to get them thinking. Do you want a house or apartment? What kind of job are you looking for? Have you tried quitting before? The answers are usually “I’ll live anywhere,” “I’ll do any job,” and “Yes, but it didn’t last.”

It sounds great when someone is not picky, and at least they’ve tried before, but being too vague can lead to coming up short and falling back into the same patterns over and over again. That’s usually why previous attempts to quit drinking or using drugs didn’t work either. When we plan, we need not only a strategy to achieving our goals, but also a strategy for maintaining them. It takes time and patience, but it’s always less time than never achieving the goal at all. 

What does the Bible say?
In the Bible, a “layman” named Nehemiah is known for leading the effort to rebuild the walls and gates surrounding Jerusalem. While it only takes a few minutes for a person to read chapters 1 and 2 of his book, we learn that Nehemiah spent months praying and planning the rebuild. He was prepared with a plan well before any of the work began, and once the work began, the wall was finished in only 52 days. The goal was achieved, and more than two thousand years later, parts of the wall still remain. There’s a lot we can learn from Nehemiah. In particular, how someone ordinary can accomplish something extraordinary.

Back to Allen
After months and months of loving on Allen, and despite all his bitterness, we finally had a breakthrough. He realized that I genuinely wanted to listen to his story. Much like myself, Allen had been prideful, wanting to do things on his own, but he confessed he couldn’t do it alone. To my delight, Allen revealed he had a plan, but it hinged on the fact that he needed help to get it started. I thought it was vague at first, but then I realized he had specific steps and not an exact script, and that’s ok. In fact, that’s even better. Specific goals and steps are critical, but trying to script out every detail is a recipe for failure. When we plan, we need to be flexible and take into account the unexpected. Otherwise, it’s easy to become discouraged or derailed from our goal.

What’s his plan?
At the time, Allen lived in tent city located underneath an overpass in South Dallas. He didn’t want to be there anymore.  Like most, he never wanted to be there, but was surviving. Allen didn’t want to just be on a housing list and wait. He wanted to be proactive and be able to choose where he lived next. He knew that would require income. He knew in order to have adequate income he would need a steady job. He also knew that in order to find a steady job, he needed to be able to have reliable transportation available.  That’s where I came in.

The Big Ask
Much like I need to reach out and ask for support, Allen asked me for support. He asked me to invest in him just like I ask you to invest in me. He said in a semi-bitter tone,  “Paul, I know what I need to do to get out of my situation, but in order to get started I need a DART (local bus and train) pass. And not just a day pass. I need a month long pass so I can find a job and be able to get there until I get paid.” I thanked him for sharing, said I needed to pray about it, and I would let him know the next week.

I found out it was going to cost $80, but I decided to do it. I don’t normally give out money, but Allen didn’t want money, he only wanted the pass and he had a plan. So the following Saturday I let Allen know I believed he was genuine and I wanted to help him by getting him the pass. He never hugged me before, but I received one of the biggest hugs ever and he broke down in tears. A further affirmation was that he asked if I would wait at least another week before getting him the pass. I was prepared to get it for him that day, but he wanted time to prepare so he would make the most of the month. I was so touched, I shared the story with some others and they pitched in on the pass. Yet another blessing and affirmation from God.

A new man
The once bitter man changed dramatically. He got motivated and really started to open up to me and started allowing me to pray with him.  Not long after receiving his bus pass, Allen got connected with a temp agency and started working 30 plus hours per week. He was also offered a place to stay indoors with a friend.

Allen is proof that when you love on someone regardless of how they treat you, they will eventually open up. When they open up, you’ll find most folks experiencing homelessness have a goal. In Allen’s case, he had a plan. All he needed was someone to invest in him, but it wasn’t until he knew he was loved that he felt could be vulnerable and ask for the help he needed.

#LOVEtheONEinFRONTofYOU