Is she worth it?
What do you feel when you see this picture? Does it make you uncomfortable? Do you identify with the woman on her own, or the group squeezed together?

Does she deserve to be there? What would you do if you saw this scene in person? What would you want done if you were the woman on the left? Is that too hard to imagine?

What happened next?
I was the photographer and I took the photo the day before Thanksgiving 2015 on my way from LaGuardia airport to Penn Station in NYC. I was going to pick up my son in New Jersey so he could return with me for his first trip to Texas. When I first boarded the train, I was standing in the doorway you see pictured. I was in my own little world then I noticed the area around my feet getting wet and it drew my attention to her.

Through my experience, I have learned not to wake someone up who is sleeping. First and foremost, because they may be in the midst of the longest rest they have gotten in a long time and I don’t want to be the one that prevents anyone from getting rest. Secondly, for safety. Not everyone wakes up very well. I would also encourage never to leave something with a person who is sleeping. You may endanger them by painting them as a target to someone who is on the prowl.

So since she was sleeping, all I could do was be in prayer. I obviously ended up taking a seat across from her and after several minutes she began to wake up. When she looked up from underneath her hood, I made eye contact with her and smiled. I wanted her to know I saw her and that I was comfortable with her.

She smiled back and asked, “Do you have a dollar?”

“I don’t have money to give out,” I replied. That is my usual response to someone asking me for money on the streets. I say this whether I have money on me or not, because I don’t want to lie if I do have money nor feel pressured to just hand out money recklessly. I was able to add, “However, I am going to get a free lunch if you’d like to join me.” She agreed and together we walked over to the NYC Relief Bus on W. 28th St. and 9th Ave.

I would be a liar if I said I never give money, but it is very, very rare. While money is significant in our lives and culture, in most cases, simply handing out money doesn’t significantly help a person. However,  just because I discourage handing out money, doesn’t mean you should avoid the topic. As we were walking, I first asked if I could be “blunt” with her. She gave me permission, so I asked her why did she start with, “Do you have a dollar?” Surprised at the question I asked, she told me she didn’t know why. This isn’t the first time I’ve asked that question, nor the first time I’ve gotten that reply.

You may have experienced someone panhandling and asking you for money. Very rarely am I asked how I’m doing, but straight to if I have money. My theory is it’s easier to ask for a dollar than a friend. In addition to most people not having the time to stop and chat (or simply not wanting to), I believe it’s less painful to be rejected when asking for money than to be rejected asking for a friend. If you’ve ever experienced a “break-up” of any kind, you might be able to relate to the pain of rejection. To make a decision to sleep in a shelter, on the train, on the streets, or the like, means that every relationship in your life has been broken up for one reason or another. Can you imagine?  I sincerely hope not, but that’s the reality of almost all of our brothers and sisters living on the streets.

I then asked her what she was “saving” for, hoping she had a plan. She didn’t hesitate to tell me that she needed a beer to help her stop shaking. “I’d rather not steal, but I will if I have to.” While I know alcohol withdrawal is one of the most awful of all substances (even lethal), I really did not want to contribute towards her addiction. Almost as soon as I was having conflicted thoughts, she said, “What I really need is detox.” I felt a weight lift and I told her that where we were going she could get connected to help. After a barrage of phone calls (a whole other story), I was able to help arrange a pickup for her to go to detox that day. (See the photo below.) In fact, I was with her when she got in the car.

Her story is far from over. Detox is relatively short and only addresses the body’s chemical addiction. The psychological recovery will require far more time and attention. Please join me in prayer for Pauline as she has many choices to make ahead of her.

My challenge for you. 
The next time you see someone who “seems” unapproachable, I challenge you to make eye contact with them and give them a smile. You’d be amazed at how much dignity it brings a person to let them know that you see them and that you are accepting of them just as they are. God loves us just as we are despite our own shortcomings. Who are we not to do the same? Especially, if we claim we are His children. Better yet, if you have a few minutes and feel safe, strike up a conversation. There are no two stories exactly alike.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Nothing is accomplished without your love and support.